I have a question for you: are you and your husband speaking the same language?
I feel like I can already see the look of confusion on your faces, so let me explain. Yes, you more than likely do speak the same language – I mean, can you imagine how hard that first date would have been?
But what I’m asking is: do you speak the same LOVE language? In order for a marriage to be successful you have to be speaking- or at least understanding of- the love language of your spouse. If you’re not on the same page, then it’s safe to say that things will get, well, a bit… muddy.
Here are five easy steps you can start taking today to discover and speak your husband’s language of love:
STEP 1: Know What YOUR Own Love Language Is
This is easy peasy! Just follow the steps outlined, HERE!
STEP 2: Discover Your Husband’s Love Language
Now that you know your own love language, it’s time to discover your spouse’s. Follow the same link in STEP 1, however, answer the question as if you were your spouse. Then, have your spouse take the exam himself.
When you’re both done compare your answers. Are you two already speaking the same language? Whether you are or you aren’t is perfectly fine; we don’t have to speak the same language as our spouses but we DO have to understand and embrace them.
And that’s exactly what happens next…
STEP 3: Learn, Understand and Embrace the Language of Your Husband
Discuss both of your results together and rank the languages from 1-5 for each of you. Are they matching- or are they on opposite sides of the spectrum? No matter what the results are for each of you, dive in and truly get to know what they mean, how they show up in actions and intentions and how to embrace your spouse’s language so you can truly communicate your love with them.
STEP 4: Speak Your Husband’s Love Language to Him
On our previous post “3 Mind-Blowing Facts About Your Husband That You Need to Know!” we spoke about how at times we do not know whether our spouse loves us or not. By understanding your spouse’s love language, you’ll never have to worry about that with them because you will understand the gestures, actions and words they’re saying are specifically out of their love for you.
And now you can speak it back to him. Take the time to find out what he responds best to and follow through with giving that to him. Is he a quality time kind of guy? Then set up a surprise date. Does he need words of affirmation? Leave him little notes of thanks and love around the house.
STEP 5: Be Consistent
As with learning any new language, it’s a daily work-in-progress to become fluent- especially if it makes you uncomfortable in the beginning. In fact, you might even find yourself trying to regress back to your primary language of choice- but I beg you NOT to do that.
Instead, take baby steps together to speak in one another’s language and in time you’ll notice how second nature it becomes. The most important thing is to be dedicated and intentional with your actions- the rest is sure to follow.
I’m so excited for you to experience the power of the 5 love languages! While it may seem crazy at first, they were designed to help you love your spouse- and provide him with the things he needs- on the level that resonates with him the most!
What more could we want for our marriages, right?
Read more marriage pearls for love success.